Hola and welcome to "Whatevers Ey!". The name's Maria Elena Velasco but of course if you do a quick Google image search you will clearly see I am not who I say I am. I grew up on India Maria movies and decided to take her name for this particular blog.
"But who ARE you?", you may ask yourself. You didn't? Oh well, I'm going to tell you anyways. I am a very proud Latina born to Mexican parents who immigrated to the United States in the 1970's. I was born and raised most of my life in Orange County, CA, in what I considered a pretty normal Mexican family. That is until I started telling my childhood stories to my friends. "What do you mean your grandmother didn't cry and wail throughout the neighborhood every Christmas and New Years because your uncles wanted to shoot bullets up in the air? That's TRADITION! Then we would gather around the cops and give thanks for not taking away our uncles again that year." Or, "My grandmother just took that last name because she thought it was the nicest and that was a hell of a lot easier than trying to figure out who my Dad's real dad is anyways." Escandalo. I know.
Every time I would tell a story to a friend, they always told me I should write a novela based on my family. Dude, if I did, it would be the best novela to hit Univision since Rosa Salvaje. But due my laziness and procrastination, that dream will never come to be; instead I decided to write this blog. Be fair warned that I have the writing skills of a 5th grader and I will make grammar, punctuation and spelling mistakes. Eventually, you'll become as numb as I am and you'll learn to skim right past them. Either way, I blame the California school system. I'll probably go back and forth in my stories but I'll do my best in explaining who each person is. The ones you will probably read the most about are my abuelita, my sister, my mami, my dad and of course, myself. I'm going to talk a lot about my sister, mainly because she's a great character in my life but no matter how much crap I talk about her; I love her. Yes, I might want to bash her head in from time to time or maybe push her into a pack of pit-bulls but really....who doesn't feel that way about one of their siblings? Or maybe blind fold her and leave her in the middle of the Sahara with nothing but a cut up Camel to protect herself from the freezing desert at night. Too far? Yeah, too far. Anyhoodle, ta-ta for now and I'll get something for you to read whenever I feel like.
